Movie Review: Yawn of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Snore

Apparently people are comparing this movie to Empire Strikes Back, in the sense that the movie is really just there to get you from story 1 to story 3. Let's see what other comparisons we can draw:

1. Captain's return to life is equivalent to Vader's revelation to Luke.
2. Elizabeth's betrayal is equivalent to Lando's betrayal of Han Solo.
3. Jack's end battle with the Kracken is equivalent to Han being encased in carbonite.
4. They are both 'dark' where there is no good outcome.

Here's where they differ:

1. Important shit actually happens in Empire.
2. Lando is more pissed than remorseful.
3. Empire doesn't spend the entire movie trying to simultaneously gross us out and show us how cool the gross out special effects makeup is.
4. There's chemistry between Han and Leia.
5. Empire is shorter.
6. Empire didn't cause audible yawning in the theater.

Here's the question I have... if this analogy holds, will there be Ewoks in the next installment? If so, I'm out.

Rating: 2/5 stars