TV Review: Summer Shows I'm TiVo-ing Week!

It's me, Chris, AV blog team member, with a few words about TV.

OK, I realize that:

1) not all of you have TiVo, and
2) few of you may have cable with 5 billion channels. No worries.

To those in category 1: For God's sake, get it. It will change the way you watch TV, and I mean that in a completely shallow and entertainment-junkie-ish way. Words cannot describe the feeling of being able to fast-forward through commercials, rewind to a great moment, pause whilst you use the bathroom or fix a snack, or simply relax in the knowledge that there's always something recorded that you want to watch, no matter what time of day.

Seriously. It's that good.

To those in category 2: Basic cable with a couple premium channels and one obscure one will still fit the bill. Listen, you're already going to get TiVo, right? RIGHT? Then go ahead and spring for the deluxe channel package, since your provider of choice will probably give you a price break at the same time.

(I recommend DirecTv personally. The TiVo box is $100, payable in installments, and the service itself is something like 5 bucks a month.)

Anyhoo: given the doldrums of summer network TV, which uniformly sucks in the summer, here are 5 shows worth watching, renting previous seasons on DVD, and are generally "all that and a bag of chips", as the kids use to say three years ago. We start with #1 today, and I'll do one per day all week.

1. Deadwood
Channel: HBO
Genre: Western
Season: 1 and 2 on DVD, 3 currently airing

This show is really "the dog's bollocks", which is a phrase I understand to mean "outstanding" but sounds vaguely like genitalia reference nonetheless.

Based loosely on real-life events in the town of Deadwood, South Dakota in the late 1800s, it's an unflinching look at the growing pains and characters that populate a rich-in-gold mining camp/town/metropolis.

Forget the cliche Westerns: everyone here is flawed with a capital "FLAW", and everything is painted in shades of gray. Outstanding performances from Ian McShane as town crime boss/master manipulator Al Swearingen, Timothy Olyphant as ostensible good guy sheriff Seth Bullock, and Robin Weigert as Calamity Jane.

As if that weren't enough, we get Gerald McRaney (Major Dad, himself), as George Hearst, land baron, this season, as the evillest, most driven manipulatin' mutha you've ever had the misfortune to cross, in an absolutely priceless piece of casting-against-type.

And surprisingly, it's the best political drama I've seen since the first two seasons of West Wing. Because it's not about shootouts, Injuns, or bank robbers: it's about commerce, annexation, race relations, and underhanded backstabbery.

With, of course, the occasional gunfight, beating, F!#$ Yeah! moment, and great, great acting throughout.

One warning: David Milch of NYPD Blue fame writes/produces/created the show, and whereas on network TV he worked under censors, on pay cable he's ... um ... unfettered. Which means a lot of filthy language.

I mean, a LOT.

As in, "I used to work in a Mexican kitchen that acted as a safehouse for the latest car thief to get parole in Tucson", and STILL was taken aback by the frequency and vulgarity of the language in Deadwood.

Still: it may be the finest show on TV right now, and it's miles better than the Sopranos ever was (sorry, Sopranos fans -- and yes, I'll post about why that show's overrated later).

RECOMMENDED FOR: Western fans, political science drama junkies, fans of incredible acting and intricate gamesmanship, people like me who remember Lovejoy fondly.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Those with a distaste for vulgarity, well-drawn characters, or plots that take multiple episodes (or years) to resolve.

A(rtistic) V(eritas) Rating: 5/5. Rent the first two seasons (don't worry, they're short) before tuning in now, or you won't receive the delicious payoff that we get currently. Also, it's one of the few shows that gets exponentially better with each episode. Seriously. Critically acclaimed for a reason.

Book Review: Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit

Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker is a chronicle of the development of the behavioral sciences department at the FBI. Part autobiography, part case study, the book covers some well known serial killers and how the FBI created the profiles.

I'll divide my assessment into two parts: 1. story, and 2. writing. First, the story:

From my perspective, the case studies were the most fascinating. And I certainly would have enjoyed more about how they determine profiles and less about Douglas' time in the Air Force or his family life. It's nothing personal, Mr. Douglas, I'm just here for the crime scenes.

But the profiling is fascinating (if you are into that) and the insight into some famous crimes like the Manson murders or even Douglas' take on Jack the Ripper made for a good read.

My extreme disappointment came on page 373, when I realized that while the book contained another 20 pages, I was actually in the wrap up. It seems there is an index, followed by a chapter of another book. I wanted more cases in this book, so that seriously sucked.

As to the writing, while there were no glaring errors (well done copy editors) this book really could have used an avid reader - a substantive editor - to work on the flow. Someone to read it from start to finish - because this book is disorganized. Chapters flow from one topic to another, cases seem out of order, cases are referenced in multiple chapters in a passing way that is distracting.

To sum up:

• More cases
• Less biography
• Substantive editing

Rating: 3/5 stars - but still a worthy read for those into criminal profiling.

Movie Review: Yawn of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Snore

Apparently people are comparing this movie to Empire Strikes Back, in the sense that the movie is really just there to get you from story 1 to story 3. Let's see what other comparisons we can draw:

1. Captain's return to life is equivalent to Vader's revelation to Luke.
2. Elizabeth's betrayal is equivalent to Lando's betrayal of Han Solo.
3. Jack's end battle with the Kracken is equivalent to Han being encased in carbonite.
4. They are both 'dark' where there is no good outcome.

Here's where they differ:

1. Important shit actually happens in Empire.
2. Lando is more pissed than remorseful.
3. Empire doesn't spend the entire movie trying to simultaneously gross us out and show us how cool the gross out special effects makeup is.
4. There's chemistry between Han and Leia.
5. Empire is shorter.
6. Empire didn't cause audible yawning in the theater.

Here's the question I have... if this analogy holds, will there be Ewoks in the next installment? If so, I'm out.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Music Review: Tom Petty

Right then, so cards on the table? I am a HUGE Tom Petty fan. Like, own-the-CDs-but-seek-out-the-vinyl fan.

So, I'm a little biased in this review, because I tend to appreciate the entire catalog of the man's work.

That said.

His last album, 2002's The Last DJ, was Tom and the Heartbreakers railing against corporate music mediocrity, the commercialization of music, iPods, satellite radio, and big huge record companies. It was released in October 2002 by Sony, a big huge record company.

And, quite frankly, it sucked.

It was the first piece of recorded Petty that I ever finished listening to and said, literally, "That sucked."

Now we get, on the eve of the 30th anniversary of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and amidst declarations by Tom that he's done touring after this year, Highway Companion.

And it is absolutely mesmerizing.

No, really.

I've listened to it maybe 20 times now, front to back (a rarity in the iPod age --- a whole album? Do people do that anymore?) and it's a paean to that most human of experiences, the road trip.

It's an album that is essentially about motion, where the characters are all running from or escaping to somewhere, and it's wonderfully varied, with Petty displaying his knack for immediate characterization and pop hooks.

From the ZZ-Top-esque opening track "Saving Grace", about a woman running from her life's failures, to the ode to Southern redemption "Down South" ("Gonna impress all the women/gonna pretend I'm Samuel Clemens/wear seersuckers and white linens"), there's an edgy feel to the album that permeates every track. Even the ostensibly sweet love song "Ankle Deep" mentions that the father and daughter are still ONLY "ankle deep/in love", which is about 994 times more depressing on repeated listens.

So, we get mostly mid-tempo songs, a few out-and-out rockers, the absolutely gorgeous "Square One" (a sparse acoustic ballad about how sometimes in relationships you have to go through hell to reclaim the spark), and a few Petty oddities like "Jack" (an ominous acoustic swamp-rat missive).

But what's clear throughout is that Tom Petty still has songs to sing, stories to tell, and he knows that sometimes when you've been driving for hours those are the only things that'll keep you company.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone who liked Full Moon Fever, Wildflowers, or Echo. Also, anyone who likes Neil Young, John Hiatt or Lyle Lovett.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People who prefer wall-to-wall asskicking rockers, anyone who thinks every Petty album since Damn the Torpedoes was a disappointment, people who dislike "story-character" songs.

Book Review: Best American Crime Writing 2003

The Best American Crime Writing 2003

This anthology lives up to its name. The stories, true news stories, range from the NBA stars shooting limo drivers to the trials of war crimes in Rwanda.

Some of these have their roots decades in the past - but it makes them all the more fascinating.

The writing is well done, and at the end of almost every piece is the author's take on the story at the time this anthology was being put together.

If you watch the news, read news magazines or read the newspaper, there are stories in here you will find fascinating.

To me the best was about a WWII German operation to infiltrate the US - how a technicality allowed the accused be tried via a military tribunal - and how Bush's administration was trying to use that same technicality post 9/11 - rather than using the normal court system.

The hardest story to read was the last - about a woman in the Hutu government in Rwanda who ordered the brutal rapes and executions of thousands of women, because they were Tutsi. Which she watched. Which she encouraged her son to participate in. The added horror is that the men she used for this were all AIDS patients - the mandate was to use these men, so that if any of the women survived, they would eventually die of AIDS, and any children they bore would die also. She wanted to ensure that the genocide, if not immediate, was permanent. Because of this, her orders were considered the highest war crimes.

This collection ranges from the amusing, to the fascinating, to the devastating. I think the editors did an amazing job of putting this collection together, and of building up to such a dramatic and significant story for the last chapter.

Rating 4.5/5 stars

Movie Review: Wasabi

Tagline: Quite Possibly The Greatest French-Language, English-Subtitled, Japanese Action-Comedy Of All Time

I must wholeheartedly disagree with the tagline for this movie. While I normally love Jean Reno's every endeavor, this is one that sucks beyond comprehension.

Point 1: The movie is dubbed, poorly
Point 2: The movie has weird subtitles
Point 3: The subtitles don't match the dubbing (the dialog is different)
Point 4: Cliche plot

We only made it through 12 minutes of this movie.

Rating: 0/5 stars

Book Review: Fraud

Fraud: Essays by David Rakoff has the trifecta of funny: he is Jewish, Gay, and Canadian. If that isn't enough for you here's a passage from the essay on his childhood kibbutz adventure, on "The Long Night of the Chickens":

Chicken shit is horrible stuff. Unlike cow manure, which according to David Foster Wallace, smells "warm and herbal and blameless," chicken shit is an olfactory insult: a snarling, saw-toothed, ammoniac, cheesy smell. Needlessly, gratuitously disgusting; a stench of such assaultive tenacity that it burns your eyes...Rather than making you never want to eat a chicken again, it simply makes you angry. It makes you hold a grudge. You'll eat chicken again, by God, and you'll chew really, really hard.

...He faces us holding the requisite eight, four in each hand, living masses of writing feathers, looking like some German expressionist cheerleader, his pom-poms alive, convulsing, filthy. Who will see their dreams fall away into the abyss and eventually succumb to the crushing sadness and meaninglessness of it all? We will! And what does that spell? Madness! Louder! I can't hear you!
--Essay: Arise Ye Wretched of the Earth, pages 20 - 21.

As a professional journalist, his essays range from personal experiences (such as living on a kibbutz) to spending time at Loch Ness and attending survival camp. His wit is acerbic. His vocabulary is stellar. The essays are highly amusing and often poignant, and the book is an enjoyable read.

I highly recommend it and give it 4/5 stars.