Friday, September 15, 2006

Underrated Badass of Cinema: LL Cool J

Here’s why LL Cool J is the undisputed biggest badass of scary movies:

LL Cool J is the only black man that EVER survives a scary movie. EVER. And he survives EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Titanium eating, genetically enhanced, super pissed off sharks can’t stop him.

Serial killers pretending to be FBI profilers can’t stop him.

It can’t be done. No man, no beast, no creature great or small will ever kill LL Cool J in a scary movie.

And only LL can deliver such pearls as these and have us still coming back for more:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I'm the meanest mother fucker in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?
Know this: a bunch of fools are going in, and only LL Cool J and some whiny white chick are coming out.

Underrated Badass of Cinema: LL Cool J -- can I get an AMEN?

2 Comments:

Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

I hadn't thought too much about it, but you're right .. even original bad MF Samuel L. couldn't survive the sharks, so Mr. Cool J is indeed the Mack of horror films

1:40 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Don't forget his outstanding performance as "Security Guard Ronnie" in Halloween:H20!

I will now shove an icepick in my retina for having remembered that.

9:18 AM  

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